Coming Out
by lapislaz
Summary: Qui-Gon tells his favorite Aunt Edna his plans for the future. Warnings: only for extreme silliness.


"...and then there's Serena, you know my oldest great-grand-niece, she's so beautiful, and smart, too! She graduates next month from the University with a Doctorate in Ethno-something-other. I can never pronounce whatever that subject is she's studying anyway and then there's Ekala now there's a smart one she raises ritarn out on that little colony planet of hers and already has a monopoly on the trade routes to all the neighboring systems after only a handful of ..."

"Aunt Edna."

"...years you know I actually opposed her when she said she was leaving for that obnoxious little world but she certainly has made a going concern of herself there and last I heard was looking out for some..."

"Aunt Edna." Slightly louder.

"...one to help her out with the business you know business partners sometimes make very good marriages if they can keep the sex out of the way but then that's always the problem isn't it we humans just can't seem to keep our brains and our gonads separated by enough distance though there was my third cousin's child Jeyghrig who had that fascinating surgical..."

"Aunt Edna!" A loud roar.

The white-haired lady jumped slightly and eyed her noisy companion in surprise. "Qui-Gon Jinn I know for a fact that your mother taught you better than to interrupt your elders when they are speaking, especially not by raising your voice to them." The old woman sniffed delicately. "One would think you had been raised by wild men or some such nonsense."

A heavy sigh was stifled by the large man sitting across from her. He knew that pointing out that his mother was dead and had been since he was three was useless, not to mention the fact that the Jedi had raised him - though there were days he wondered if she was that far off about the wild men.

"Allow me to apologize, Aunt Edna. I truly didn't mean to interrupt you but merely to remind you that I cannot stay much longer. Obi-Wan will be in orbit in a few hours and we are due back on Coruscant in three days."

"You can't stay? But Nephew, I had planned several parties and outings for you. It's time for you to choose a spouse, as you well know. The Jinns have been one of the leading families on this planet for centuries and it's time for you to carry on the name. So far at least, none of your cousins have been able to produce offspring. And they never will unless they find a suitable partner of the _opposite_ sex to settle down with. Honestly, I can't imagine what's gotten into all of them. These days it seems to be quite fashionable to find your true love is the same sex you are and how we are going to carry on the family name if people aren't making babies is beyond me. Now take that lovely young heiress to the Caroip fortune she would make beautiful babies..."

"Aunt Edna. Agnes Caroip has green hair, purple eyes, bad breath and a voice that could shatter a lightsaber crystal. I could get her to brush her teeth more often. I could get her to dye her hair. But that voice is insupportable. Besides, I'm seriously thinking about asking someone else to marry me."

"You are? Oh my darling boy you've made me a believer in the integrity of our family again. Tell me, who is she? I'll bet she's beautiful and smart of course, you couldn't do without someone with a few brains in their head. Did I ever have you meet my youngest sister's second cousin by marriage's niece? Now _there_ is a smart woman - and all that red hair, masses of it down to the floor but I might have forgotten she might be married by now. I know I remember getting an invitation to Rapunzel's wedding and I think that was her name anyway..."

A deep groan from the slumping man in the tiny chair halted the chattering old lady. "Qui-Gon darling are you all right? Let me call Dr. Ozob he really is very good and so nice to talk to why just the other day I had such a spasm and he..."

"Aunt Edna, don't call the doctor. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me. Now, as to the notion of getting married..."

"Oh, yes! I am sorry dear boy - lets get back on the subject here. Now tell me, who is she?"

Qui-Gon silently gathered the Force around him in preparation for what was undoubtedly going to be a heavy blow for his aunt. He loved the old woman dearly, but this was not going to make her happy at all, especially after the diatribe he'd just been subjected to.

"Aunt Edna, I am seriously thinking of asking my Padawan to marry me when he has acheived his knighthood."

"Qui-Gon, your Padawan is male."

"Aunt Edna, your powers of observation are flawless. That he is."

"Qui-Gon, sarcasm does not become you. That aside, I thought you liked women - after that scandal with the three nurses from the Malastairean gender clinic I certainly assumed..."

"Aunt Edna, that was Cousin Qui-Jehan, not me. And no one ever actually proved anything you know - the charges were dropped. But to return to the matter at hand. I plan to marry Obi-Wan. If he'll have me, that is. I haven't actually asked him yet and there is yet some uncertainty..."

"Qui-Gon Jinn are you telling me that you are such a slave to fashion you need to have a male lover like everyone else? Have you no respect for your family? Have you no respect for it's traditions? Have you no respect for my heart condition and failing eyesight?"

"Aunt Edna! Obi-Wan is _not_ a fashion statement - I love him!"

"Oh pooh - you're only 55, what you do know about love? Why, when I was your age I barely knew what color glitter to wear that day much less if I was in love or not. Young people these days have no idea what they want out of life. How can you choose someone for a life-partner when you haven't even decided what you want to be when you grow...?"

"Aunt Edna - I am a Jedi. I am a Jedi *Master*. This means I have decided what I want to do with my life, really it does. I will continue to be a Jedi until such time as I am killed or die of natural causes a few hundred years from now. In either case, I hope that Obi-Wan will be at my side throughout. I love him Aunt Edna. And if he says yes, we are going to get married. That is final."

The old woman eyed him sharply. "Final, eh? Well, I suppose I know better than to try and tell you to do something different. You know you're just like your father sometimes, in fact so like him that it's scary. I told my sister when she married him that he was too stern and harsh but she kept insisting there was a giant marshmallow inside that..."

A shrill chirp from a comlink cut the incipient flood of words off. "Obi-Wan, is that you?"

"Yes, Master - I'm in orbit and ready to receive your shuttle. You really should hurry Master. If I don't have you back on Coruscant in three days Master Yoda will use that stick on someplace higher than my shins this time." Even filtered by the tinny comlink, amusement was obvious in the voice.

"Understood, Padawan - I'll be up as soon as I can get flight clearance. Jinn out." The Jedi Master rose from the fragile looking chair and bowed to his aunt. "I'm sorry Aunt Edna, but duty calls. I must go." He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. "Will you be all right here?"

"All right? Of course I'll be all right, I have a house full of servants and useless relatives to amuse myself with Qui-Gon - how could I not be all right?" She looked up at him and smiled. "I can't say I blame you for taking up with that Padawan of yours. If I was twenty years younger I'd kidnap him myself, lock him in my boudoir and teach him a few things. You wouldn't stand a chance with him."

"You might be right, Aunt Edna. How could a mere Jedi Master compete against the Toast of the Republic Navy Officer's corps?" He grinned. "And don't get modest on me - I heard about the two admirals and the zero-G joyride."

"Nonsense! You couldn't possibly have heard it right. It was three admirals and a couple of ensigns beside. You'd better get going." She patted his cheek.

"Yes, Mas...Aunt Edna. You know I love you, don't you?"

"And I love you dearest Nephew. Now get to your ship. If you keep blathering that little green troll of yours may do some serious damage to your intended in places unintended."

Qui-Gon Jinn smiled and turned to go. As he went out the glass doors and headed across the meadow to the private family landing pad, he heard a loud cry on the breeze.

"And I'd better get an invitation to the wedding damnit!"


End file.
